Facebook is constantly speckled with relationship woes and victories. Anytime I scroll through my news feed I see either a man hatin' post or a mushy status that boasts of the blessings of companionship. How do some relationships go soooo right, and some go SOOOO wrong? Destiny? Chance? God's hand? What is the secret!? I can't give all the answers, I dont know everything there is to know about dating and relating...but I do have personal experiences that have helped me get to where I am now! I was blessed with positive relationship experiences, and even though my previous ones were not it for me, I wouldn't trade the lessons they have taught me for the world! It was because of my past experiences that I appreciate my boyfriend, Jacob, so much! So, here are my secrets to finding yourself a keeper.
1) If there is any doubt, chicken out!
My first two relationships were spent in a state of anxiety. Did these young men treat me wrong? No, they were great guys! But undeniably, my heart was in a constant state of tight hesitance. I didn't allow myself to break off the relationships at the start of my anxiety because I felt that it was my fault. I thought that I was just being a wimp who was scared to give her heart away. I soon realized that these feelings of anxiety and lack of peace were God's way of saying NOPE, NOT THE ONE. If you don't feel 100% peace, there's a strong chance it's something you need to pay attention to! The right relationship will demonstrate the opposite of what I described above. :)
2) PRAY
I have learned time after time that God does NOT mess around with relationships. I have been in constant prayer in my endeavors, and every time I have asked for guidance... I've received it (We're talking same day, in your face guidance!). Marriage is the most sacred commitment of them all, and God desires your desire for Him in your relationship...so he will jump on any opportunity to guide your steps when you seek Him!!
3) Don't allow yourself to settle
Superrrr cliche, I know, but hear me out!! If you allow God to work his miracles in HIS timing, you will not have to sacrifice anything you want in a man. And I mean ANYTHING (That lines up with what God wants for you as well). The temptation is always there to grab onto someone who is compatible with you and gives you a sense of security...someone that you could live with and not feel like you'd kill before your first anniversary....but be strong and WAIT. There is someone out there that God want to rock your world with. I heard this saying and have stuck to it, "If seeing him doesn't give you the same feeling as when you see your waitress coming with your food, he's not worth it."
4) NOOOO Sex!
I have made the commitment to my future husband and to God to stay pure until marriage. I know I am an alien to most for saying that but it is the biggest blessing in the world when it comes to sanely figuring out how right or wrong a relationship is. When you have sex with someone, there are hormones and chemicals released that create a false bond between two people. Ever wonder why terribly matched, unhealthy couples still seem to have an unexplained attachment to each other? You got it....sex. It clouds the mind and creates a seemingly strong foundation that makes it impossible to judge the situation accurately! Nothing good ever EVER comes out of sex outside of a fully committed marriage...we're talking legal, on paper, marriage!
5) You can't take back the "L" word
This one is self explanatory... Love is a sacred word, believe it or not. Don't throw it around or use it to the point that it no longer carries any value once it reaches the person you end up marrying.
6) It's not complicated
The right relationship won't be a complex puzzle! Things will make sense...your mind will be at ease. This isn't to say you guys aren't human will never argue or go through rough patches....but there will be peace. If you're in a constant state of "break up, get back together".....yeah....rethink it, it's probably isn't right.
7) Be equally yoked
SOOO IMPORTANT. Make sure that both of you are at the same level and have the same convictions/beliefs faith wise!...because if not, you're in for a disastrous ride. You want to do more for the Lord BECAUSE you're together, not pull the other down. There are no if's or But's about this one....it's a MUST!!! \
8) Date The Family
Remember that a relationship is a package deal. You get the family too! Make an effort to get to know the loved ones of your love. You're working towards joining a family, not just getting a ring on your finger. <3
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